party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
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You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
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Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
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