Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
