with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
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just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
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He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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