And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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