best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
