You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
