I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
