The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My liver just broke up with me...
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just found a bag of teeth...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
