I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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