At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize