exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
