I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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