come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
