we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
