If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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