I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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