I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
