At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
