I just made out with a guy for $7.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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