ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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