oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize