she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
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I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
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Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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