It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Randomize
