you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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