By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Randomize
