It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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