a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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