A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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