if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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