am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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