no you cant smoke seaweed
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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