yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
