One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
