I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dude i'm inner monologue high
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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