I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
