Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
