I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
