I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
