i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
