what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize