maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
