First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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