I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Life is so much better after having sex.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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