worst night to have a conscience
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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