Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
