just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize