I've blown a few things in my day
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
