Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
