so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
