Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
