also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
