i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
