I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
