whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
