I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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