Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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