idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
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Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
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I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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