I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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