She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
