i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
