Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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