Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Randomize
