He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize