When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
