It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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