Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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