Kiss
Puke
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
