a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
