i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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